What is one of the most difficult and painful things to accept in life?
From my observation and personal experience, it is when others have moved on without us!
- The ex-boyfriend who swore he cannot breathe, let alone live without you, but now has found someone else, just days after you broke up. Ouch!!!
- The church member who told you yours is the greatest church, or that you are the greatest preacher or leader he has ever met, is now happily serving and growing in another church!
- The former best friend who would always text you where she is, what she is doing, what the rest of her day’s schedule, is now with her newfound friends. You see their groupies (group selfies) in social media and it looks like she is having the time of her life and it absolutely kills you!
- The business partner or employee, whom you help to start their own business, now has overtaken you, and what hurts is he refuses to acknowledge his humble beginnings or even credit you for his rise in the business.
I could go on and on, citing example after example, real or imagined, but you already get the point.
What is poor me to do? Particularly to our “EX’s”?
First, move on yourself.
I know it hurts like hell, but there is a silver lining beneath the dark clouds. You have finally realized you are not indispensable. Good! There is only one God, and you are not Him!
I know, I know, your ex (fill in the blank -girlfriend, best friend, member, disciple, partner, etcetera ) promised you this and that. How dare they break their promise and our heart?
I have a motto that goes like this: anything that makes you humble, no matter how painful, is worth it!
Once you have learned that lesson, it’s time to move on. There is no other option, no other choice, no other consideration. Life has already made that decision for you!
My second advice is to be happy for your ex.
You can’t really move on without first releasing any anger, hatred, bitterness, or feeling of vengeance or thoughts of revenge on that person. The one sure sign you have forgiven them and have moved on is when you can smile when you see them smile; laugh when you see them laughing, even when she no longer cares about you nor your opinion matter to him anymore.
Somebody said, “the true test of friendship is not to cry when your friend is crying, but to rejoice with them when they are successful.” Whether it’s still true now or not, the fact is we once loved our “ex”, and though things are not the same, we can still love them, even from a distance.